Jonathan Takes on Hawaii! Solo Travel As A Black Man

I recently just returned from Hawaii for a trip to visit some family. While they spent their days working, I set out each day to have what I’m calling a solo travel adventure. I had a goal when I set out on this trip, being that it would be my first trip really on my own, and for so long. I wanted to learn more about myself. Right off the bat, I understood that the what, where, and when is all up to you. If things change you can adapt and move along with little to no problems. Although you can always expect something to be off. Rain, traffic, or hungry belly, can all steer your timeline away from you. For most this could get annoying and almost ruin your mood, or worse, your day. I had to immediately understand I needed A B and C plans just to make sure I kept the good vibes going. When you're on your own, you really are in charge of everything that goes on around you. This can be a debilitating or more exciting feeling. 

One thing I really felt while in Hawaii was more of a sense of belonging unlike on the mainland(America). One man, while I was on the beach with my niece, came up to me to shake my hand, simply because he enjoyed the sight of another “person of color” on the specific beach we patroned. This was a native man with his wife and grandson, but I couldn’t emphasize more the fact this was the first time this ever happened to me. (Although there was that one time in Mexico a woman wanted to touch my high top afro). Traveling alone you have a firsthand feel of either being a confusing spectacle or part of the background unnoticed. People are either watching you or you're watching them. Being a black man in tourist Hawaii still serves its mainland agenda. I either felt like an NPC extra in GTA. Or I caught as many eyes as you could think. Being alone probably didn’t make it better. In my head, I thought I moved with an air of mystery like in a movie. What could I be doing all alone in Hawaii? 

You really notice how collective we are as humans. Our society has preached individuality and uniqueness since I was a kid. The only time we hear about being a team… is when on a team. Naturally humans long to be around other humans, especially ones they like. With a large enough sample size most of us are the same. Walking the beach or on the sidewalk was a different experience than on the mainland. People almost treat one body less important that colliding with another large group. I was expected to move out of the way instead of a mutual pushing aside. I could sit back at a restaurant and watch groups of 5,6,7 people all looking to sit together. Couples holding hands any and everywhere, boyfriends taking their girlfriend’s picture(as they do). But I really noticed how most families never left each other behind, at least not for long. There’s always one person trailing the group trying to catch up. It was a sight to see. And you best believe we all have weird quirks in every family. 

Your thoughts are all your own. There’s so much more time to think and you get a real look at what YOUR thoughts consist of. When you’re on vacation, you tend to focus on taking in all the sites and really be present in everything that you do. By contrast your phone stays put away and your mind begins to feel free. The brain is high on natural dopamine, and it feels so good. I came up with so many fun and dope ideas one after the other. I was able to revisit thoughts I had way earlier in the day or even the day before with relative ease. I probably looked like a crazy person chuckling at my own jokes. To be honest I enjoyed my thoughts more. A positive environment with positive intentions changed my whole aura. Whether I felt like a native around the natives, or the people on the military base didn't even look my way, I chose the way I felt and it wasn’t hard to get right in my head. 

Whether I maneuvered through the streets of Waikiki or cruised up to the north shore, moving alone definitely felt lonely at times. As I was going from one place to the next, I was the only person I could talk to. Being a lone wolf in my everyday lifestyle is normal, however vacation is usually different right. Vacation is for friends and family to join together in fun and adventure. I still had the fun and adventure, though I had to make up for the family and friends whilst on my adventures. Luckily I had it on my mind to meet people along the way, which was one of the best parts to me. People from across the world all in one place of paradise. On the other hand, once you leave one spot to the next, you understand what it’s like to really be alone in a world full of people. 

Having never been on vacation by myself before, I had a different objective this time around. I knew I would be alone for most of my waking hours so I made the decision to be as introspective as I could. I wanted to really see all that lied within me. What was I capable of? What really annoyed me? What would I really get from understanding myself from being alone in a foreign place? Meditation is the practice of looking inward for your answers to your life’s circumstances. I would mentally plan my day as well as write it out every night, to create a path for the day and set the expectations, whether it included extra work or a long day of travel. The main lesson I received was the importance of having yourself together. The world is truly a big place for one person, though this should never deter anyone from exploring this rock we call home. 

I would strongly encourage anyone who has never been anywhere to find their way on a plane or a boat and get going. There’s more to this world than your city or state. You don’t have to embark on a solo journey your first time around, I would honestly encourage you to travel with loved ones so that everyone can have the understanding. Leave your home town and see more than what Instagram or TikTok is showing you what the world is like. I bet you learn a lot about the world… and about yourself. 

-J