Who's the Real Villain?

A villain is defined as someone who is responsible for specific harm, trouble, or damage. Villains are always portrayed as evil beings. Mad scientists who produce experiments that harm citizens; strong beasts who terrorize the city in search for the riches held in banks. A villain always has an arch nemesis who dispels their terrorism and saves the day by putting the villain away until their next encounter. Everybody loves the hero and in our everyday life we want to be the hero of our story and feel good about it. So what happens when you are made the villain of someone else’s story? Is being the villain really as bad as the world makes it?

In our society being the villain means being an outcast. Villains are those who have no path in life and follow a negative conscience that leads to a hard life, only to be stopped by the good people, ultimately landing the villainous in prison. In this society the villain's story is not only untold but no one cares to hear what they have to say. Some people are true villains who go out into the world to wreak havoc and nothing less. I think other villains are made by the environment they live in or the people of their past.

Most villains in anyone's story are usually only a villain in that person’s story. We have a strong habit of taking people’s stories at face value and only believing their side of the story without a thought of acquiring the whole truth. To me the truth should be two-sided because we tend to only tell our perspective of a situation. Two people can experience one thing and come out with two different stories based on their perspective. This in turn should tell us that more than one story should be heard to get the full picture. This is not the case. Someone is then made a villain because the masses listen to one side of a story and believe that story to be the whole truth. Now you may have many thoughts and ideas about what I’m getting at right about now. I’m talking about villains on a small scale within our relationships we encounter in this life we live. When I speak of being a villain, it is because people don’t like what another person did so they want to make others see things their way.

There was this girl I was talking to, and everything seemed great in the beginning. We had a great few months living life and learning each other. We had an agreement to be open and honest within our situationship(yes it might seem confusing but stick with me). As we got deeper into it, I felt like we had less and less in common. I didn’t know what happened, but it seemed like our chemistry lessened quickly. We both knew we could do as we pleased outside of us even though we both didn’t act on that even in the end. There was a time where I visited my female friend and this ended up not going well with the girl. She hit me randomly and cut things off. In my confusion, I opted to remain friends because we had that prior to being intimate. She said a lot of things to me that didn’t reflect her character and I had to get to the bottom of this. So we agreed to meet up and talk about it. This was a bad idea. It turned into a bad argument, resulting in her disrespecting me and claiming me a liar. I never argue because I hate being loud with people. It's such a degrading feeling within myself, let alone having someone else refer to me as trash of a person. It came to my attention that after this debacle, she went on to tell her side of the story to our mutual friends resulting in them no longer wanting to be friends with me. This is my villain origin in her life. Yet nothing about me or my actions reflect that of a villain. Of those so-called friends, no one came to me to ask me about my feelings on the situation, leaving me to move on from her and them without any declaration of my truth. For months I was such a great person in her life. In a matter of minutes I went from the hero to the villain, and this is how I will be remembered in her life despite the good times.

People become the villain to others simply because those people maneuver in life on their accord. By this I mean, when you don't act in the way that others want you to act, you then become the bad one. When you refuse to conform to the masses you are then alienated and ostracized. Hence you are now the villain because you choose to move in your best interest. Does this make you a villain in truth? How would you feel if every decision you made was wrong? Any time you do something for yourself, you’re selfish. Anytime you do something for anyone else, it's never enough. This would get mad annoying very soon, causing resentments to fester and bloom within you. These internal feelings lead to negative thoughts and in a way you become numb to everything and you dislike everything. When we always look to make others like us, we become people pleasers and this is never good for you. On the other hand, when you always do things for your sake, you’re self-centered. Neither of these may describe you as a person in your mind, but to others this doesn’t matter. These two actions are two sides of the same coin, but you’re the one flipping out.

I think villains are only villains to those who can’t fathom being the villain themselves. Yeah I said it. Those who can’t hold responsibility for being wrong make everyone else the villain. Of course this isn’t some new revelation of the century but some people can’t even stand to see it. This society has trouble seeing the wrong in themselves, but are quick to place blame where they think it's due. No one wants to talk about certain topics because they can’t risk being corrected when they realize their processing can be tainted by other truths. Two perspectives can exist and both be true. I realized this when I began to look at where I was wrong in relationships or friendships. Given time to think, I was able to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself where I went astray and how the other person had great points in their deliberation. Owning when you are wrong and admitting it, not only keeps you sane, it also allows for a smoother transition from the tension between you and others. This usually results in continuation of a healthy relationship filled with honesty and comfort.

Respect yourself over everything. Doing this will allow you to have a level head in times where people are testing your gangsta. You can say no to others if it means keeping your inner peace. Everyone doesn’t need your time all the time, especially when you can’t give it to yourself. We all have our quirks and sometimes we can be unintentionally mean to those we care about. Take time, apologize and move forward. What you want to do in your life is very important and those around you should respect it and wait their turn. Other times you can care for them and help them where they need it from you. With that being said, if you are the villain in someone’s story, look them in their eyes and give em a wink, they’ll be aight.

-J