The Beauty and Its Beast

This one is going to hit hard. This is something I ponder all the time because my soul wants the luxuries of life right now while my present timeline is teaching me that there is beauty in the struggle. The people closest to me can tell you that I speak on my desires often. I want the house, the car, and to be able to give the best Christmas gifts ever. I want the freedom to roam the world whenever I want without worrying about the bills awaiting me at home. I could go on and on about them because these desires run deep. I was raised by great parents who had already begun their personal endeavors in making their lives and their families’ lives better than before. My circumstances were pretty good to be honest. Although, I remember times of lights being shut off or the water not working. Knowing vacations were possible but not often. Seeing as a child the argument between parents about money. They certainly made the shit work all while teaching us how to utilize our own funds better as we grew up. Learning you can't always get the best shit when it comes to clothes, because these other shoes and shirts are just as good. How many of you have heard, “You can get that pair of shoes, or you can get these two pairs of shoes for the same price.” Writing this now, I understand I was learning to save and compromise, but as a kid it was disappointing. This was the inception of my mindset about money… we didn’t have much of it, which made me want a lot of it.

The Beast

It’s common that you hear that hard work pays off. If you aren’t doing well you simply work harder to make ends meet and ultimately you will reach your goal. As I’ve gotten older, I learned that hard work is simply translated to how much effort you put in. If you don’t persist through the inevitable challenges that arise then you will not reach your goal. I have this idea that hard work is important, yet obsolete if there are no results for such rigor. If I'm in the gym everyday for months yet I see no change or feel stronger I must not be working hard enough, or I'm doing something completely wrong. We hear that we should work hard even if the results aren't immediate, but most people of course will think, “What am I working for if I see no return?” That's what I think anyway. Many have told me this isn’t a good way to think, but I’ve made things happen for myself with this mindset many times. So is it my thinking that's wrong? Don't get me wrong, hard work, effort, blood, sweat, and tears are all necessary to building what you want in life.

The biggest thing I’m learning now is until you reach your goals, you must enjoy where you’re at now. Up until recently, if I didn’t feel like I was doing enough my mind would be in a rut for days on end. Nobody could tell me anything because my head was down grinding through feelings of inadequacy. Even though more effort was being put forth, my mind wouldn’t let me think I was progressing. This led to self doubt and wondering if all the hard work is even worth it. As you grind and work, it is crucial that you take time to look up from your project and see the world around you. It's okay to hang with friends or spend hours on the game. All work and no play is a journey to lack of happiness. Even when you do make it where you wanna be, because you haven't learned how to enjoy the process, everything around you won’t matter. Imagine having everything you ever wanted, and not even enjoying it because you only live in work mode. I want you to achieve everything you ever wished for but don’t kill yourself on the way there.

F**k the Money

The next big thing I’m really trying to learn now is that everything doesn’t have to be about money. I know we all enjoy having and making money…especially when it's free money. We work our ass off; more hours equal more money. This feels so good even if the work to get it sucks. At some point in time, everything I was doing was for a check. Every job I left was because I wasn’t getting paid enough, or the pay didn’t match the work. One summer I worked as a pool cleaner for only TWO WEEKS because I did not enjoy being in the sun from 7am to 7pm everyday. I wasn’t having it. Despite how nice the paycheck was, which was real nice, it wasn’t worth potentially passing out and falling into a pool.

In America, we learn that because it’ll make us some money that we should stick with it no matter what problems it may cause us. Now let me be clear. If you are not in the best position financially, then you should be doing what it takes to get into a better situation that will allow you to pick and choose what work you do from then on. Otherwise, I’m beginning to understand that it’s important to help those around you no matter their position compared to yours. Obviously there’s volunteering for organizations, or helping friends or family move or something. Gary Vaynerchuk talks about doing things for free. If you have a skill or product you want people to notice and potentially pay for, you should offer it for free. The people you provide for will go and tell others how well you do your job. I know most people won't enjoy that because all we know is,"If I'm working I should be getting paid". Doing things for others feels good and money doesn't come close to the relationship you can build with people. When we only focus on the dollar we forget about the humans that give it to us.

The Beauty

Your dreams don't work unless you do. Hard work is important. Everything isn't about a check. The struggle you are going through is necessary for the beautiful outcome that you want. I could drop a list of cliche statements about this: Pressure makes diamonds; It ain't over til it's over; If you're going through hell, keep going. All these things come down to one cardinal aspect of life; there will be struggle in life but it doesn't last forever. The beauty of reaching new heights is the stories you have from climbing out of the trenches. People love underdog stories for the fact that they witness someone coming from nothing and making it something. I have immigrant friends who all have a story of a parent or grandparent who went through hell to not only get to America but also thrive here. My own parents, as I mentioned, made it from the projects and the lower ninth ward of New Orleans to raise suburban kids like me and my sister. I can only aspire to have the same inner grit they had without quite having the outer circumstances that could have held them down.

I believe that your dreams will come true because they have to. I heard this girl say,“what you desire, desires you”. Meaning that whatever you want so badly in this life wants you to have it. It’s meant for you to have and you will get it. But until this timeline matches with that one, you have to put in some work and enjoy the beauty that struggle has to offer. Life is what you make it, so make it awesome.

You got this.

-J