There's No Participation Trophies...Play To Win

Vin Scully - “ Losing feels worse than winning feels good”

We tell young kids trying out new sports that winning doesn’t matter as long as you just have fun. To which I would now respond, “What's fun about losing?” As adults we play games, we watch and play sports, and even in arguments and debates we always seek to come out as the victor. Yet, when it comes to rearing children, we diminish the effort it takes to win and replace that with the dear enjoyment instead. You can sit back and watch kids play with other kids and see the desire, naturally, to win within them. Without having to teach them what winning is or giving them your idea of the importance of winning, they will naturally want to win and some may automatically put in the effort to win despite how young they are. If you are looking to change your life or some aspect of your life. You have goals to become someone you don’t see in the mirror yet, then you seek to win on some scale. Winning isn’t always about beating everyone else, it's beating the version of you that holds you back from the goals or dreams you envision.

All or nothing- risk to reward

When I was playing football in high school, our team made it into the playoffs. We were super excited because this wasn’t a regular thing for our school at the time. This particular year, we had all the right players and coaches that could potentially lead us to a championship game. The first round was a breeze but it was the second round of playoffs that gave us a challenge. The game was close. It was one of those games where we would score then they would score right after. It was thrilling but exhausting at the same time. As the time drew closer to the end of the game, you could cut the tension with a rusty knife. Every player on each team was out there giving it their all, words were traded back and forth, so much even the crowd begun to give their input. It was one of those nights. Our team had an amazing drive and scored. Our head coach decided to go for the 2 point conversion to win instead of the field goal to tie the game for overtime… It was a quiet bus ride back home. In the post game meeting, our coach explained to us that he wanted to win and that his decisions reflected that. We couldn’t blame him because we all wanted to win; we also thought overtime would've given us the best chance at doing so.

To have an all or nothing mentality can be really easy for some but harder for most. As humans, it’s important to weigh the risk to rewards when making any type of decision, especially when its financial or family related. I learned about taking risks only because I had an interest in personal growth and because I played sports my whole life. We don’t learn to take risks as kids or teens because the people before us most likely hadn’t taken risks for us to see. I love the quote, "Everything you want is on the other side of fear”. The quote is literally telling us that taking risks is important despite how fearful the choice may be. Now of course you can’t be dumb. There’s a difference between taking a risk and being dumb. Don’t be dumb. 

A more recent example of taking risks in my life actually came from my first time gambling. The utter essence of gambling is that you are taking a financial risk every time you play. My first time gambling, I’m with my cousin playing craps, the game where you roll two dice and avoid landing on any combination of the number 7. I watched him play because I was honestly scared, and in no position to lose money. After he played a few rolls, we ate food in the casino, and while eating I explained to him that I have this inner belief that ‘The first time I ever really gamble, I want to win.’ Of course he laughed because everyone thinks that. But for me I would only gamble if I could put myself in place to win. So the next time around, he withdrew some money, and I withdrew some money, $40. We get to the table, they give us our chips and the game begins. I made it clear to all the workers that I was a beginner and knew nothing of what was going on. So they would kindly explain as the game proceeded, what was happening. After many turns and losing most of my money, I made my last $10 dollar bet and was down to my last $1 chip. At this moment, it really was ALL OR NOTHING. If I lost, I was going home empty handed and down $40. As I rolled and rolled, the dice kept landing exactly how they needed. I was collecting every number on the board. As it came down to the last number the dice seemed to avoid what I needed. The next roll, I picked up the dice and threw them down the length of the table, but the employee beside me was in my way as they fell, so I couldn’t see what it landed on! But with great joy and to my surprise the whole table erupted in cheer. I WON!!!! I couldn’t believe it. Almost instantly the dealer started counting out chips to hand me. I was ecstatic. I never would’ve had the opportunity to win without taking the risk first. 

The risks you take are scary because you have no idea where your path will take you. But once you decide to take that risk you must go all in. You’re not playing to compete. You’re playing to win!

Losses = Learning

Hall of Fame high school basketball coach, Morgan Wooten, once said, “You learn more from losing than from winning.” The main thing any losing person will speak on is the fact that they made mistakes and how they will fix those mistakes before the next competition. I think winning feels great because we understand how much our skills outweighed the competition’s. Therefore, the opposite would be, when we lose we can identify that we just weren’t better than the other person and that we have things to fix. In this social media age, you may find a post that says, “I don’t lose, I learn” or “Every loss was just a lesson.” These both embody the idea that losses don’t define you in completion. Any time something goes awry, it is merely an opportunity to inspect and redirect. Take note of what happened and use this down time to create a plan to fix what has gone wrong and how you can prevent it from happening again. This time could also be used to generate new ideas and focuses to implement in your endeavor. Losing brings a sort of clarity to your mind. The game hype has died down, the stands are empty, and all that is left is you and your thoughts. Instead of beating yourself up, thinking you’re stupid for this and that, you could accept what life has given you and make something of this moment. The silver lining of losing, is that you learn to keep going.

One loss doesn’t denote the end. One win doesn’t make you a champion. Repeated actions create a habit. If you repeatedly do the things that will improve your chances of winning, then you will create a habit of winning. If you see you have more Ls than Ws, then you need to take the time to learn what is off and focus on improving those aspects of your game. Whatever it is you embark on in life, business, relationships, sports, go all in. Don’t just play to have fun. PLAY TO WIN!

-J