Your Thoughts Are Not You... Free Your Mind

“You are not your mind”- Eckart Tolle

That moment someone says something you find offensive and you verbally attack them. When you get cut off in traffic and you fill with rage. The time where you feel bad and talk down on yourself, which then makes you feel even worse. All these instances are a product of your egoic mind at work. We all know what the ego is and its role in helping us keep our outer perspective alive so that other people will see us how we want them to.

Our ego isn’t just us. The moment we show the world how we want to be treated it is then reflected on us by our peers. I played football in high school so, I'll use that as an example. I played defense all four years of high school. I never started but I played most games. I didn't have dreams of going to college or to the league and that reflected in my work ethic. I always worked hard but not enough to get scholarships, not that I wanted them. My senior year I switched my position to safety. The summer going into my senior year I had the chance to start at my position because of how well I was doing. The thing is, I would visit my dad for like a month every summer, because he lives in another state. So going into summer workouts, it was either miss out on a month of summer workouts or miss out on seeing my dad. My decision was clear to me but my coaches did not like it. I initially felt bad because I let the team down as well as my coach, but I knew seeing my dad was more important to me than starting on the team. My coach showed tremendous ego as selfishness by informing me that I should’ve been there for summer workouts and that my spot isn't promised. After I returned for the second month of summer workouts, I wasn’t at my peak like I was before leaving. My coach reiterated it was because I wasn't there all summer that I wasn’t doing well and that I could’ve been a starter if I had stuck around. Now of course I felt the sting of this statement and couldn’t deny the truth. I could’ve let my ego and anger get to me and lash out on him for saying what he said, but ultimately he was right. Of course the rest of my senior year I got better again and played in the games, but I think my coach never forgave me for missing that month. Honestly that’s more on him because I had my own priorities.

The strength of our ego comes from our need to protect our image. We can also see ego in the shape of our insecurities. Both our ego and our insecurities have a certain control over us that we can let go of. I could’ve disregarded my own father and possibly have gotten a starting position. But for what?! A sport I wasn’t going to continue playing later in life? To be able to flex to the school that I was a starter? I had a girlfriend all senior year who liked me for me, so who would I really be trying to impress? These are the desires I’d be reaching for had I stayed all summer just to be a starter. It was at this point I truly realized I didn't care to start as much as I thought I did. The worst part is that the position was never promised anyway. Of course I had my pride hurt by having someone of a lower class starting over me, a senior. But it would’ve been of extreme entitlement to complain about it and make a show of it, especially after missing a month of workouts. We feel like we have to be so defensive when the odds are against us, to save face and look stronger than we actually are at the moment. This act of saving face is very limiting and ultimately nothing comes out of it. You look good for now but what about when your insecurities peak their head again? Are you ready to defend yourself every single time? You are only lying to yourself by hiding and hiding does nothing but compound those insecure feelings.

No one wants to look at themselves and receive this information. Remember, I’m spreading positive vibes in a real way, you gotta get the lesson, before you get the answers. Keep reading…

Having an ego doesn’t equate to having confidence. You can feel good about yourself while reducing the ego within you. To do this we first have to realize where in our life our ego takes charge. Do you get defensive easily? Are you judging others while your own wrongdoings linger in the background? Are you a hater? Our ego is the fuel to these fires. Eckart Tolle says "the best way to reduce our ego is to become more present". It seems so simple that you're thinking it can't be that easy. When you really look at the idea of being present, it encompasses the mind and body. You can be with a group of friends but your mind is preoccupied with what your partner may be doing or you're thinking what you would rather be doing instead. Being present requires full attention to your current state, physically and mentally. I’m working on this now because I’m like a pro when it comes to thinking ahead and being so future oriented. I have to remind myself to enjoy the present because it won't be here forever. Do you ever think back to a moment you know you enjoyed so much, but you barely remember all that happened? Or on the other hand, you remember everything and wish to relive that moment? Memories are great because they remind us of great times. It is important to enjoy the moments you live now as they happen simply because this is your life right now. I heard someone once say ‘being present is having your mind where your feet are’. This really stuck with me because it's just so damn simple. Wherever your feet are, your mind should be there too. If you're chilling with friends, be there with your friends and enjoy everything going on. Once you leave then you can switch your focus. When you practice being present your ego will try its hardest to ruin your mood and bring your vibration back down. This is where you take control and make ego take a backseat. It’s going to be hard in the beginning because we are so used to reacting to life instead of responding to it.

For this one, practice being where your feet are. What are you engaging in at this moment that you could be giving all your attention to? As you move through life, take a breath and really look at where you are. Listen to life around you; take in all the elements, crack a lil smile if you want to. See how it makes you feel on the inside. Could this activity be better by paying more attention to it? Could you be doing something more fulfilling with your energy? Imagine how fulfilling it'd be to let go of your ego to really be present in this life. To be fully aware of who you are and what you're doing at this very moment and being content with that. I know you’ll enjoy it.

I know you got this. I believe in you.

-J